when he died i didnt know what to do i had just sat down ready to eat my tea but for some reason i couldnt i had a bad feeling in my stomach that wouldnt go away. i put my plat back in the kitchen and my mum came bursting through the front door and found me and my big sister. she took us into a different room. she cuddled us while she told us and i just burst out crying and i couldnt stop. i didnt know what to do so i went to the church round the corner from mine and went a prayed that it wasnt real. i rang my dads phone, no-answer, i tried the house phone my step-mum paulene was crying her eyes out. i said 'please can i speak to my daddy please i need him!' she replied 'lauren im sorry you cant he has died!' i knew then it was real and just hung up the phone. i wanted to be with my dad so i kept on trying and trying to end my life, but nothing seemed to work. finally i gave up on that idea and decided to make everyone remember my dad so in my room i created a collage of all the pictures and memories i had of him.